Beautiful Single Black Women!

So with all this talk about the shortage of available Black men (see my blog post Black Women Single and Black Women Unmarried) I decided to comprise a list of my favorite top five 2009 talented, strong, successful Black women who are currently single and living their life like it's golden!

1. The most powerful women in the world- Oprah Winfrey
2. Actress, former supermodel and TV personality- Tyra Banks
3. Actress, songtress, performer -Janet Jackson (Miss Jackson if you're nasty)
4. Actress, singer, and comeback QUEEN- Whitney Houston
5. Actress Sanaa Lathan

Black Women Single

I posted the ABC News clip featured in my previous blog "Black Women Unmarried" on my Facebook page.  My girlfriends are all over this topic.  They are sharing their fears, their lessons, their words of wisdom... all in an effort to uplift each other and I love it!  This all started when a male friend of mine sent me this dreadful video that was yet another media report on the shortage of Black men.  My guy friend wanted to know my thoughts on the matter.  My initial reaction to the Black man shortage news report was "it is what it is".  When that wasn't enough of an answer for him I wrote this...

If Black women out number Black men so be it. We can't create more Black men between the ages of 30 and 60 years old to choose from now can we? We can't make sure more Black male infants are born each year rather than female babies just to even out the score. But we CAN empower more women to love ourselves regardless of our martial status.  We can encourage our circle of female friends to broaden our options (dating outside our race and not lowering our standards but taking a hard look at what is important to us) and to find love where we can when we can. We can also support our sistas who do find a Black man to love, honor and cherish them and remind them of how blessed they are when things in the marriage aren't going so well.

I refuse to get caught up in the statistics or the media hype/hysteria over the shortage of Black men. Myself and several of my single Black BFFs have chosen to have fabulous careers or build successful lives and we make no excuses for that. Many of us delayed marriage in pursuit of our dreams and we wouldn't have it any other way. Life is all about choices and we made our choice... some by design... some out of necessity. If a Black man hasn't come along "oh well". Truth be told, I have a lot of girlfriends who are very unhappy in their marriages so who is to say having the title "Mrs" is the end all be all?

A Black male shortage is nothing new. So yes, it is what it is and we will forge ahead in spite of it. Our journey in life, in my humble opinion, is never about anyone else or any one condition... it's always about our on individual path. It's not the issue, i.e. the shortage of Black men that's the problem it's how you respond to it that counts.

I was able to say this to him because I have amazing sista' friends who remind me of how wonderful, gifted, beautiful and strong I am.  I have male friends who do the same but it's my girls... some married... some single... some divorced that really know what I'm going through.  Thi, after finding out my Ex, a man I loved too much, trusted too much and took way too long to get over recently got married to someone else. Am I sad no man has looked me in my eye and said "I can't live my life without you"?  Well, no man I WANTED to look me in the eye and say that.  Yes, I am salty about that.  But baby, I have a good life... a really, really, good life and I am living it to the fullest.  A brother can come along for the ride or watch my smoke as I leave a trail of dust but I'm keep things moving regardless.  I'm God's gift come true... now go remind a Black woman that she is also God's gift come true so we can stop this madness of self hate and self doubt and move on to self love be we married, divorced or God forbid... SINGLE!

Black Women Unmaried

So, once again the media is telling us that Black Women have a better chance of hitting the lottery than finding a suitable mate.  Once again we have to hear that as successful, intelligent, accomplished women we have to lower our standards to be find a man who is willing to join us in Holy Matrimony.  I'd like to say this doesn't affect me.  I'd like to say... "oh those are just statistics".  But, since I'm a decade older than the women in this report I have to pause and say "hmmmmmm."  Well, all of us single ladies better get use to it.  We better be happy being by ourselves but never alone.  We better rejoice in the life we have rather than the life we don't.  We better rally around our family and friends and find joy and happiness there rather than in a marriage that may or may not be all it's cracked up to be.  Let's learn to love ourselves and stop letting these disturbing stats scare us into believe we are not fabulous just the way we are when we know that we are! Here's the report, here's what they are saying... you decide...