Dating: Not a Spectator Sport

I've been getting all kinds of dating advise from my girlfriends... some solicited... some not. "Sistas Are Single" by Shannon Renee celebrates our choices in being single rather than diminishing them.  I'd like to think that after decades of dating I've got this one down but clearly I'm doing something wrong if I haven't found "the one" yet. 

Don't get me wrong... PLEASE... because being single has many advantages.  Plus, truth be told, I can get a date any day or night of the week.  But finding that guy for the "death do us part" thing... yeah... well... that's a little harder.  Also, I know all too well that the goal line is not getting married, the goal is to have a long, healthy, supportive partnership that will last "until death do we part".

I have so many friends who are terribly unhappy in their marriages or who have settled for something far less than they had originally anticipated.  Hope runs eternal for me that I will find "the one."  I'm willing to go through Shannon's list and make sure I don't fall into any of the categories she has mentioned.  I'm also willing to push myself outside my comfort zone and try online dating, take recommendations from friends, and go where the men are.  I'll let you know how it all this turns out because dating is not a spectator sport.  You've gotta get in the game if you want to win!

Here are Shannon's top five:

1. We don't go out or socialize with others --> we're waiting for Prince Charming to come to us. The only person who's going to ring the doorbell is the mailman, and our bougie selves won't even consider him. You know you won't, don't front.
2. We don't go out alone --> we go out in groups with our girlfriends. Very, very, very few men are going to have the nerve to risk walking up to a group of women to speak to one of them. It really is okay to go out to dinner, see a movie or visit a museum all by your lonesome.
3. We don't have a realistic expectations --> we are still looking for Mr. Perfect, the man who meets all of our criteria. The perfect man doesn't exist. The checklist we have in heads (or have even written down) needs to be edited for the 21st century. Stop being so darn picky!
4. We don't have or make time for a relationship -->we work 60+ hour weeks, volunteer at church, have family obligations and hang with our BFFs. Relationships take time and attention to grow. We have to be willing to let go of some things to make room for a man in our lives.
5. We don't let go or ask questions --> we stay in relationships longer than we should. This isn't the right time, he has to focus on this, that or the other thing first, he's not ready to settle down yet...ALL excuses. We need to be in control of our lives, we're older and don't have time to waste on foolishness.

Read more from Shannon Sez So and the 8 Reasons Sistas Are Single by click here and let me know what you are doing to get in and stay in the game.